A hot dog with legs

Climbing the bunk bed ladder feels like such a climb after a long day, when you know you only have an hour or two of wakefulness left (at best). Sometimes you’ve just got to make that final climb and sometimes you just can’t. Continue reading

It's not all bad.

So I’ve made a house for him here, here’s his bedroom with a bookcase, and here’s his oven and I’ve put potato in there cooking for him, he can cook whatever he likes. And my house is over there but I’ve not put anything in mine except two beds. One for me and one for him if he wants to come and stay. Continue reading

Tongue-tie: Can anyone give me a straight answer?

An unexpected breech caesarean section, BUB.3 first appeared to me as a long, bright pink, crying blur. “She’s got a tongue-tie which they say they can cut” Willy Wonka said, reassuring me she was OK as they checked her over on the table behind me. From something so certain, the first thing I heard about … Continue reading

Bath time: I'll just sit here and smoke

  At bath time and in the morning, when they are getting dressed, there is sometimes shouting. I usually have to ask them to do something a minimum of four times, with increasing volume, before it might happen. This evening I snapped, as after countless attempts to extract them from the bath they were still … Continue reading

Blue whale birthday cake

Last year I made BUB.2 a birthday cake that perfectly symbolised his temperament at four years old. This year, on his fifth birthday, my blue whale-loving boy deserved a birthday cake to symbolise how far he has come since being a volcanic four-year-old. I had spotted a few whale cakes on the internet and quickly shut … Continue reading

Smelly old bag

Smelly old bag

“Did you smell her bag?” he asked me, pointing his finger at the seat where the old lady had sat five minutes before. I hadn’t got a waft but I sensed from his wrinkled nose that it hadn’t smelt of lavender and cold cream. Continue reading

The beautiful ones

The beautiful ones

These kids didn’t have anyone telling them they were a failure or that they had to pass tests to be successful. And they’re now top of their profession and internally renowned in a creative field. Continue reading

Blue birds

Blue birds

Painting up the old shed we inherited when we bought our house made it one thousand times nicer . An old door knocker that Willy Wonka has been storing for years, a painted bird box and some new windows (once we’d discounted the idea of turning it into a bar at the bottom of the … Continue reading

Morten Harket: a retrospective

Morten Harket: a retrospective

“Did you see it?” “I saw it.” “The way he blew his fringe off his face at the end?” 1985. 1984. Who knows? But A-ha were on Wogan’s early evening chat show, and as he finished singing his multi-octave song he stepped back and blew his sweaty fringe from his face. My hand hit dial. … Continue reading

Let Our Kids Be Kids

Let Our Kids Be Kids

The data is for schools, for the Government. It has no bearing on my son. The other day I broached the subject of the May tests with BUB.1 and he started talking animatedly about the Easter bunny. Relief flooded me. Continue reading

Starry, starry night

Starry, starry night

It was a highlight of all of my trips to New York, because while I wanted to climb tall buildings, he didn’t. I had to force him up the World Trade Centre, and after practically begging for him to go up, it’s lucky we did because four weeks later it was decimated. Continue reading

KERBOOM birthday cake

KERBOOM birthday cake

In the future, if I ever struggle to remember what it was like to have a three-year-old child, I will just look at a photo of the birthday cake I made BUB.2 for his fourth birthday. He had seen similar cakes on the internet when I was searching for dinosaur cakes and said he wanted … Continue reading

KERBOOM cake

KERBOOM cake

In the future, if I ever struggle to remember what it was like to have a three-year-old child, I will just look at a photo of the birthday cake I made BUB.2 for his fourth birthday. He had seen similar cakes on the internet when I was searching for dinosaur cakes and said he wanted … Continue reading

That London

That London

I walked through Tavistock Square, one of the scenes of the 7/7 bombings ten years ago today. I thought about that morning. But all around people were laughing and talking and heading to see and do exciting things with this glorious sunny day. Continue reading

Gravity

Gravity

The mundane can so quickly become a heart-stopping moment that it’s worth wading through the acres of tears, nappies, spaghetti bolognese, dirty laundry, Lego and broken dreams to get there. Continue reading

“I’ve been to paradise…”

“I’ve been to paradise…”

Last night I went to bed wondering what I’d do with a few hours to myself on this Mother’s Day weekend. In my dream, I told my own Mum that “I’d like to walk down the centre of Manhattan, turning left or right whenever I want to.” Today, I’ll probably end up sniffing books in … Continue reading